It’s almost Halloween and I forgot to write what I call a “mandatory Halloween post”. It’s so easy to get distracted by church history subjects that I forgot to write this. I intended to write this one since I grew up in a superstitious household. Rather than tell the truth, we as children were told not just about Santa Claus (and I was a fervent believer back then) but also about stuff like the Aswang or other fictional monsters. It was not just the housemaids (who usually came from the province) who were guilty but also the parents themselves. The parents tend to say, “Oh but it’s just a little white lie!” Please, all lies are black and that’s a result of believing in salvation by works. James 2:10-11 says that if somebody tries to keep the whole law yet offends at one point, is guilty of all. A shame really that some psychological websites like Very Well Family even try to justify the practice!
There are many lies that can be heard. We can have this kind of line and I’ll leave the people to fill in the blanks. If I do try to evaluate them all, I might end up writing a million words, something that I never intended to do. We can have something like, “If you (insert misbehavior) then the (insert monster) will get you.” A few examples I’ll give are like that if I don’t sleep the the Boogeyman will get out of the wall. Another one is hiding in the blanket under the darkness will cause some monster to get you. I had my hallucinations as a result of parental lying. It’s probably just as entertaining, if not more entertaining than Christmas Day when children think that Santa Claus gave them the presents. When confronted by the children about their double standard, the parents always try to make up excuses that it’s a well-intentioned lie. This brings to the real painful truth that parents expect honesty while lying to their children.
I found this one about why parents tend to lie to their children:
Parents sometimes lie to their children for the purpose of protecting them from psychological harm. This could be done to stop a child from worrying about something that may not actually happen, or it could be used as a way of shielding the child from difficult news and unpleasant truths. For example, if there is an impending divorce in the family, parents might decide not to tell the children until they are old enough to understand and cope with such complex matters. In other cases, parents may choose not deceive their kids so that they do not experience unnecessary stress or anxiety over situations that can’t be changed or controlled by them. Ultimately, whatever decision is made will depend on how well informed and equipped each parent believes their child is emotionally ready for such news at any given point in time.
At times, parents may feel the need to tell their children a white lie in order to protect them from making mistakes or bad decisions. This could be due to the parent’s fear of putting their child into an uncomfortable situation or trying too hard to make sure that they have a good life. best cbse school in patna For example, if a parent is worried about their child being exposed too early and becoming corrupted by adult ideas before they are mentally ready for it, then they might lie about certain topics such as sex education and drugs. In other cases like when parents worry that their kids will not take something seriously enough due to lack of experience; lying about potential consequences can serve as an effective way for getting through with important messages without necessarily scaring them off completely.
Parents may sometimes lie to their children in order to preserve the child’s innocence and childhood innocence. Children are innocent, vulnerable beings who can be easily influenced by external sources such as television, media or other people. As parents, it is our responsibility to protect them from being exposed too early to potentially damaging information that could disrupt their naivety and cause psychological harm. By lying about certain topics we ensure that our children remain blissfully unaware of the harsh realities of life until they are mature enough to handle them without becoming overly distressed or scared.
Either way, there may be good intentions but there’s a saying that says, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” It would be a very good paraphrase of Proverbs 14:12 that says that there seems to be a way right but it leads to the path of death. It would be very wise to heed that and parental lying is a way that seems right. Even worse, parents can say, “I never taught you to lie.” It might be best to say, “I never taught you to lie to me.” instead. It’s because that’s what is going on. Parents are trying to scare their children into telling the truth with a well-intentioned lie. Parents seem to believe they’re exempt from the rule of not lying.
What does the Bible have to say about it? It’s very easy for dishonest parents to get the belt and quote Proverbs. I’m pro-spanking and I believe spanking has helped me in my journey. However, parental lying has only made me an angry person, even wondering if my compulsive lying was worsened by years of parental lying. Unfortunately for parents who think their little white lies are okay (and even use them to prevent lying, which is stupid), the Bible says in Romans 2:21-22 that if you teach others, you teach yourself. How can parents teach their children to just tell the truth when they’re fond of making up those “harmless little white lies”. It’s one thing to play make-believe and everyone is aware that these fictional monsters are just fiction. It’s another thing to lie about these fictional monsters are real.
Unfortunately, the impact of lying is really more serious than one can anticipate. It can create a vicious cycle especially when a parent uses well-intentioned lies to scare the child not to lie to them:
Lying to your parents can have a significant impact on the trust and bond between parent and child. When children lie, it is an indication that they do not believe their parents will understand or accept them; this creates a sense of distance between them. Lying also damages the trust that had been built up over time, as children may become unsure if their parents are telling them the truth or not. Without having faith in each other’s words, communication would be difficult for both parties involved and could lead to more arguments in future conversations. As such, it is essential for both sides to remain honest with each other so that they can maintain a strong relationship based on mutual trust and understanding.
When parents lie to their children, it negatively affects the child’s view of relationships. Withholding information or telling untruths can lead a child to feel distrustful and insecure in all areas of their lives. This is especially true when it comes to trusting adults as they may find themselves questioning every word that an adult says or even doubting what they see with their own eyes. As a result, this dishonesty can prevent them from developing strong relationships with peers and other adults since they will become suspicious and guarded around people who are supposed to be trustworthy sources for them.
When a child lies to their parent, it can lead to a breakdown in communication between the two. This is because the parent may feel betrayed and be less likely to open up or trust their child with important information. If children are not honest with their parents, they may become withdrawn and unwilling to talk about anything that could potentially lead back to them being dishonest. Not only this but if caught in fibs, punishments or lectures from parents can further discourage children from communicating openly and honestly with them as they will have lost trust in each other due to dishonesty. In turn this leads further down an unproductive road of broken relationships between both parties which ultimately affects how much communication occurs between them for years into the future until rebuilding takes place again on mutual terms of honesty.
There’s always the harsh truth to tell, no matter how we try to invert it. I think of many ways to explain things with reality such as:
- Stating the real reason why children aren’t allowed to watch TV all the time. They can be told in siple terms that too much screen time is bad for them instead of lying about the Aswang or any fictional monster.
- Telling them the real reason not to go out on the streets alone, especially during the night. One can really talk about kidnappings and murders that happen during the night. A child may not be ready to hear about the brutalities but they’re not too young to know about the reality of criminal activities.
- Instead of telling children that the Boogeyman will eat them if they don’t eat their vegetables, try finding ways to convince them that they need their vegetables. There can also be reasonable punishments like, “If you don’t eat your vegetables then you might as well not have dessert.” or something like that. Of course, parents need to find creative ways to make children eat vegetables without otherwise compromising their nutritional value.
- If the children are misbehaving in school, it would be best to find a child psychiatrist since spanking alone doesn’t help. Spanking can help discourage bad behavior but children still need professional help. People shouldn’t only be scared of getting spanked but also be motivated to do good.
That’s why I advocate for more transparency. Parental lying may seem fun but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. A lot of people in Hell today may still be trying to justify their white lies while suffering there. Sadly, Hell is so full of people who think that just because they did more good than bad they don’t deserve to be there.
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