When Sorrow is Better Than Laughter

Proverbs 17:22 has King Solomon say laughter or mirth is good medicine. Does he contradict himself later in Ecclesiastes 7:3? It’s pretty much a case-to-case basis. Remember that Proverbs 26:4-5 tells us when to answer and when not to answer a fool. Sometimes, we need to stay silent. Sometimes, we need to answer a fool in such a way it shows him his foolishness. This may also be the case as to why Solomon said that sorrow is better than laughter.

This reminds me of Ecclesiastes 3’s introduction–there’s a time for everything under the sun. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there’s a time to weep and a time to laugh. In short, it’s a case-to-case when laughter is better than sorrow and when sorrow is better than laughter. It certainly wouldn’t help if the preacher is a moody pessimist. However, it wouldn’t help if the preacher failed to deliver sad truths that lost sinners need to hear.

Dr. Matthew Henry said the following in regards to times when it’s better to have sorrow than laughter:

Verses 1-6 Reputation for piety and honesty is more desirable than all the wealth and pleasure in this world. It will do more good to go to a funeral than to a feast. We may lawfully go to both, as there is occasion; our Saviour both feasted at the wedding of his friend in Cana, and wept at the grave of his friend in Bethany. But, considering how apt we are to be vain and indulge the flesh, it is best to go to the house of mourning, to learn the end of man as to this world. Seriousness is better than mirth and jollity. That is best for us which is best for our souls, though it be unpleasing to sense. It is better to have our corruptions mortified by the rebuke of the wise, than to have them gratified by the song of fools. The laughter of a fool is soon gone, the end of his mirth is heaviness.

Verses 7-10 The event of our trials and difficulties is often better than at first we thought. Surely it is better to be patient in spirit, than to be proud and hasty. Be not soon angry, nor quick in resenting an affront. Be not long angry; though anger may come into the bosom of a wise man, it passes through it as a way-faring man; it dwells only in the bosom of fools. It is folly to cry out upon the badness of our times, when we have more reason to cry out for the badness of our own hearts; and even in these times we enjoy many mercies. It is folly to cry up the goodness of former times; as if former ages had not the like things to complain of that we have: this arises from discontent, and aptness to quarrel with God himself.

Got Questions also offers the following insights as to how, at times, sorrow can be better than laughter for the moment:

Sorrow is better than laughter in that it provides a different perspective. Laughter is a wonderful tool God has designed to help us express delight and enjoy life. However, life is not all delight and joy. In laughter we rarely consider the difficult areas of our lives and how to improve. It is during difficult times of struggle—sorrowful times—that we are often forced to make adjustments. Further, we tend to look more seriously to God in times of need, relying on His strength in our weakness.

The context of Ecclesiastes 7:3 provides further insight: “It is better to go to a house of mourning / than to go to a house of feasting, / for death is the destiny of everyone; / the living should take this to heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:2). Few people would claim a funeral is better than a party, yet Solomon claims this is the case. Why? He explains that the “house of mourning” causes the living to consider their ways. More people come to faith in Christ at funerals than at bacchanals.

In the same way, sorrow is better than laughter because it causes us to reflect on our lives and make personal improvements. Those who constantly seek comedy or fun to escape from problems may be working to avoid a serious look at areas in life that need to be addressed. Laughing through life can be a means to avoid appropriate change.

However, those who endure times of sorrow and contemplate ways to change can truly find sorrow is better than laughter. The actual sorrow is not enjoyable, but it can lead to a new way of life or a new perspective that improves life more than laughter ever could.

Sorrow can point an open learner toward greater wisdom. Ecclesiastes 7:19 says, “Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful / than ten rulers in a city.” While laughter can offer many positives, it does not have the same impact as sorrow to cause a person to consider life and grow in wisdom. Sorrow can therefore be better than laughter. The eternal benefits are greater. Sorrow, though painful, leads to reflective thinking, wisdom, and changed actions that improve one’s life and the lives of others.

Often, some sources of laughter can be wicked Many times, we enjoy many things that we shouldn’t. Not all comedy is good comedy. More often than not, we can be guilty of rejoicing when somebody we hate stumbles (Proverbs 24:17-18). In contrast, Proverbs 25:21 has the advice to show kindness who don’t deserve it. A lot of comedy shows today are full of indecency or worse, blasphemy against the LORD. The world tends to find laughter from wicked sources.

Meanwhile, we can certainly see how sorrow can to better things. Temporal losses can keep a person humble. Persecution can cause Christians to speak up for Jesus more than times of ease. Sometimes, getting separated from unsaved loved ones can be God’s way to make a Christian bear more fruit. In the end, all the sorrow of the Christian life turns to joy (John 16:16-20).

A good piece of advice Solomon gives can be found in verse 14. We are told to rejoice in the days of prosperity. Meanwhile, we’re also told to expect adversity. God has a purpose for when one is better than the other. God has a purpose for every sorrow and joy. The best thing to do is trust God, do your best for God, and He will do the rest.